Malcolm Christiansen

Malcolm, shown here alongside his guns.

Malcolm is The Last Gaffe’s owner and proprietor, and most of the talking is also done by him.  He’s got big dreams, a big head, and an almost slavish devotion to making people laugh on the Internet.

Malcolm currently lives on somewhere in British Columbia, and spends most of his spare time dreaming about the day when his passion for writing will turn into a career that allows him to live in comfort and luxury.  On the Moon.  Riding unicorns (moonicorns.)

Click Here To See All Of Malcolm’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Malcolm Writes For:

Cracked – Yes, he is aware of the irony in having written one article about comic book characters and another about things that make you fat.

Gameist – This probably goes without saying, but Malcolm has better taste in games than any of the other writers.

Michael Krakatoa

Micheal, in all his resplendent glory.

Brilliant, a gleaming, radiant beam admid the darkness of Nebraska. Some still have outhouses there. A God amongst men. Painfully funny, so much so that no mortal can look directly in to his humor. Already embroiled in a nuptial agreement, sorry ladies, you will have to fling your nubile bodies elsewhere. Above all else, a sexy sex machine. It’s kind of what he’s known for.

Michael writes for fun and has written some articles for the Cracked website under the pseudonym Trevor Moorehouse, although now that the secret is out, the pseudonym is worthless.

When not amusing the comedy-hungry throng of Cracked, Michael is working on the “Great American Novel” Deity is Wasted on the Young which is essentially his own personal Duke Nukem Forever/Chinese Democracy, except no one is anticipating it.

Click Here To See All Of Micheal’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Micheal Writes For:

None.

Jeff Kelly

Jeff, mentally commanding his dog to stare at him benignly.

Bold. Innovative. Powerful. Shiny.

Jeff has never been described as any of these things, but always thought they sounded swell in car commercials. Jeff, on the other hand, works in the glamorous world of small-time college athletics. When he’s not stone drunk, Jeff enjoys attempting (poorly) to assert mind control over animals and working on his accuracy with his gun fingers. Recently, he signed up for but bailed on running a half-marathon because, seriously, that’s just too much running. Jeff is a contributor at Cracked.com, a graduate of Syracuse University, and a non-gun toting resident of Texas. He’s also had his Cracked articles stolen by at least three people on the Internet, and is looking forward to meeting number four.

Click Here To See All Of Jeff’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Jeff Writes For:

Cracked – Fun Fact: Jeff is one of Cracked’s most ripped-off authors! Steal his work today (if you haven’t already!)

Bobby Ingram

OH BOY

Bobby is a writer most known for his prowess on the dance floor, which has been described as both “phat,” “dope,” and, on occasion, “all dat.” He’s written for such comedy sites as Cracked.com and Gameist.com, but he makes most of his living writing thrilling How To articles like “How to Wash a Baseball Cap,” or “How to Tie a Pair of Etnies.” The latter work is staggeringly unfulfilling, primarily due to his editors’ vehement refusals to accept dick jokes in the tutorials.

Click Here To See All Of Bobby’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Bobby Writes For:

Cracked – Everyone should go and check out Bobby’s manly musicals article. It’s pretty great.

Gameist – Bobby has actually written Gameist’s most popular article to date, which Malcolm would hold against him if said article hadn’t pissed off so many furries. Good job, Bobby.

Jay Thomas

Jay Thomas, aged 12. He hasn't changed much since then, honestly.

Jay Thomas is a well respected man about town. Jay Thomas is not his real name, but then the internet isn’t a real place so he doesn’t feel that bad about it. In his spare time (read: all the time), he looks dashing. Also, he has been known to do some writings. While he prides himself on his Civil War-era fanfiction, offers from publishers are well below expectations. While negotiations are ongoing, he amuses himself (and others) by spinning humorous yarns on the internet.

Click Here To See All Of Jay’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Jay Writes For:

Cracked – Remember when we mentioned the Civil-War-era fanfiction?

Daniel Dean

Daniel submitted this image, obviously hoping for parallels of "grotesque" and "hirsuite" to abound. No luck, Daniel. You are just too handsome for those kinds of shenanigans.

Daniel Dean has made something of an art out of lurking around comedy sites and geek communities, finding time along the way to contribute to National Lampoon and Cracked. Today, in addition to working for The Last Gaffe, Dean co-edits Cracked’s Top Picks section (formerly the Pipeline) and writes the Comic Book Closet in an attempt to pad out an application to a well-funded MFA program of some kind.

Click Here To See All Of Daniel’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Daniel Writes For:

Cracked – Boy, Daniel sure must be important! We bet the whole place would fall apart without him!

Comic Book Closet – Don’t let the name fool you, his blog is actually about German Shepherds.

Jonathan Kimak

Johnathan, shown here either climbing down a tree or playfully jerking off an Ent.

Jonathan enjoys the occasional romantic comedy followed by long walks on the beaches of Normandy, killing Nazis. Due to a Nazi shortage and the fact that he lives on Vancouver Island, Jonathan’s Nazi killing is mostly relegated to online gaming. His lifelong ambition is to one day meet George Lucas and hit him in the nuts with a bronzed Jar-Jar Binks collectible.

Click Here To See All Of Jonathan’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Jonathan Writes For:

Cracked – Most of these are about dumb things that stupid people do to good things.

Gameist – Hey, almost all of these are about dumb people in the real world, not video games! Foul!

CollegeHumor – Fun Fact: Johnathan was never actually paid for this article, because the CollegeHumor payment scheme was dreamed up by miserly gremlins.

OhGizmo – Johnathan wrote an article about things you give to your father on Father’s Day! That’s about it, really.

Metronix – Since this article is about 24, we thought it would be cute to make this summary 24 words long. Whoops, out of words already.

Erica Cantin

Sure, it seems like a perfectly nice smile until you find out that Erica's face is frozen like this.

Erica Cantin lives in a formerly abandoned castle next to the sea, where she and her husband and three kids sing many a merry shanty.

Click Here To See All Of Erica’s TLG Articles!

Other Sites Erica Writes For:

Cracked – Only the least wholesome of subjects here, folks. Make sure your kids are out of the room before you click that link.

Cody Johnston

Don't be alarmed - that tickling in the back of your head is merely Cody's gaze plumbing the murky depths of your soul for any trace of worth, and finding you wanting.

Cody Johnston lives in Columbus, OH and is perfectly fine with that. He rocked in a rocking band called The Bernards for five years, and he now produces videos and articles for Cracked.com. Often he is referred to as Dr. Mister Cody and has a lot of silly useless crap on his blog, The Radiopants Dance. Right now he is in post-production for his short film, “Wind Factor Zero: The Slaughtering.” He is also constantly in a state of limbo/pre-production for his feature-length film “Farmer’s Revenge.” One day that film will knock someone’s socks onto their shoes. He occasionally does long-form improv with OSU’s 8th Floor Improv. Love Dr. Mister Cody or hate Dr. Mister Cody, you love Dr. Mister Cody.

Click Here To See All Of Cody’s TLG Articles And Videos!

Other Sites Cody Writes For:

Cracked – If you watch any of the videos in that links, watch all of the videos in that link. Because they’re fucking rad.

The Radiopants Dance. – So good, we had to link to it twice!