The Last Gaffe

For When The Last Word Just Isn’t Enough

Archive for February, 2009

A New Hope For Nerdosity: Erica Finally Watches Star Wars

Feb 19

Posted by admin in Erica, Nonfiction

Out of the many movies that get a shocked reaction from people when I confess I’ve never seen them- Top Gun, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Citizen Kane- Star Wars is usually the most jaw-dropping.

Now, don’t get me wrong.   I’m pretty nerdy.   I was in band in high school (First Chair Trumpet players holla) and played Dungeons and Dragons pretty regularly for a couple of years.  I’m pasty, white, and just overweight enough to qualify for the Dork Olympics, but it’s the lack of tar Wars trivia knowledge that keeps me out of the trials.  Recently I decided that it was time to finally lose my Star Wars virginity, and as any planned virginity loss calls for, I bought champagne.

Ill be the first to admit that I got a little carried away.

I'll be the first to admit that I got a little carried away.

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Anatomy Of A Failed Article

Feb 10

Posted by admin in Michael, Nonfiction

I don’t have a deadline, technically.  Rather, I have a sinking, depressed feeling as the end of the month draws nearer and I realize The Last Gaffe will have gone nearly a month without my wit, charm and pictures of me eating things (next month I plan to write an article about eating an entire wedding cake by myself.)  It is now nearly two weeks after the beginning of the month and Malcolm is threatening to kidnap and kill my Tamagotchi if I don’t deliver an article, the problem?  My article failed.

I wont let the bad man take you, Tamagotchi.

I won't let the bad man take you, Tamagotchi.

The development of my article didn’t begin until the last week of January when I began to get that sinking, depressed feeling again.  I desperately ransacked my old blogs to see if I had written anything funny in the past that I could use, but unfortunately Malcolm (A.K.A. Captain Hardass M.D.) didn’t think poetry dedicated to the cute girl who doesn’t even know I exist and long, depressing posts about how lonely Boulevard of Broken Dreams makes me feel were up to par for The Last Gaffe.   “Good Lord!” I told him, “You let a woman and an Irishman write for you, don’t talk to me about standards!”

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Welcome To My Website; I Trust You Are Enjoying Yourselves

Feb 5

Posted by admin in Malcolm, Nonfiction

You’d better watch out, regular TLG fans.  It’s about to get a lot crazier in here.  Sex-crazy.

Cracked crazy.

You might be thinking to yourself “Hey, why does the name of the gentleman who wrote that article on naughty words look familiar?  I wonder if he knows the Malcolm Christiansen who writes for this website?”  Hold on to your tits, because here’s a mind-blowing, completely true fact: We are the same Malcolm Christiansen.

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